Welcome to limbo

Ok.
I may have to change the name of this blog to 'whinging about my life'
After a blunt question to the best friend about the suggested meet up - got the reply

Its a No Go.

I am out of ideas. Not true - I am out of ideas that wont potentially make the situation a lot worse.
I could write letters to those involved - but I doubt they would be read.
I could force the issue by going round there. I doubt the door would be answered - even if it was I suspect it would be slammed quickly.
I could go see the ex - this could have numerous bad outcomes.
I could do nothing. This helps noone. If the best-friends fiance still hates me after over a year - I dont see that doing nothing will make any difference.

I feel for my friend. I really do. She has been in a horrible situation. But Im getting angry now.
I cant help but think that the refusal to even meet and talk about this shows a spectaular level of immaturity and admission of being in the wrong - knowing it - and not wanting to see it.

Fucksake.

About this time last year I lost a lot of friends. The best friend was my only remaining longterm friend in the area. Its not that I dont have others - Im so greatful to the ones I have - Some of you I know read this and you kept me here when I didnt want to be. The best friend is special. I cant be without her and dont see things changing - but Im terrified of making things worse.

Welcome to limbo.

The rest of this week has been pretty shit.

Fun huh?