well i did say id keep you posted...

so here you are...

posted with an actual post.

*wonders if a blog has ever been done with postit notes*
*thinks then it wouldnt really be a blog...*
*stops evading and gets back to the point*

ok, so one of the main reasons i went back was to try and contact a friend from back then (told you it would be something to do with trying to reestablish some friendships). Her email no longer gets answered, but her husband eventually replied to his, they split months ago. no contact. hes had to move out of state. he doesnt know what email if any she is using now.
So i was trying to find a way to get in contact and see if she is ok.
One person I know she was friends with - is now partnered online to her now ex husband. Dunno if im gonna get anywhere there. - sorry if this all seems too complex.

I lost all my inventory - so had to start again

i dont look like me. I knew one shop well enough to get an item of ME clothing, but my shape and skin arent me. I cant have people i knew seeing me like that - hello vanity!

I mentioned i thought seeing the places i used to be happy might help me move on.

I realize now that cant happen.

Cant face going there

not entirely sure i need to. it may make things a helluva lot worse without making anything any better.

I also couldnt stop myself taking a fleeting look at one profile. The one who broke me is still where he left me for. He can do what he likes now. However fucked up it is.

I cant be on there. I cant be different from how I was, because I was my ideal. But I cant get that back. I cant deal with the chance of running into him. Im not expecting much sleep tonight. The split second glance I had of his picture is gonna be haunting me for a while.

This is my place to say whats going on. I dont mean it to hurt anyone. If it does im very sorry.