Ok...
Am a little tense.
Am a little nervous...
Am lying through my teeth.
Am fkn terrified.
When you dont listen to yourself, you only have yourself to blame for what happens. Perversely, the same is true when you do listen. As I was wittering on about last time.
I havent been able to stop picking.
In fact Ive been poking more great big bloody holes.
Theres a horrible twisted excitement and terror.
Ive recreated. Ive reactivated. Im reborn. I exist again.
I havent tested it out.
Im not there yet.
I know Im probably going there looking for friends after losing others.
I know its probably a bad idea.
If I see the one who broke me...
Im assuming I will shatter again.
But theres the little red box with the X in it.
Im quietly hoping this will help me move on.
As always im hugely greatful to the friends and loved ones I do have.
I dont know yet if or when Il go on. For now I think I just have to get used to the feeling of possibility. Tho if it keeps making me feel sick I might just get rid of it all again. Or keep it till I can comfortably wear my jeans again...
Il keep you posted.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment