Bad Week

Yes.. both words capitalised. It's been THAT kind of week so far. And it's still only Tuesday.

It started yesterday. Monday. Weeks usually do.

Yesterday was fairly meh... I argued with a few self-righteous arse licking yes men bastards who like to contradict and criticise everything I say. They do this I think because they are aware of what they are and deep down they dont like it and are too cowardly to change coz that would mean losing their position. Thats me being nice about it as well. Its entirely possible that trying to make me look like the bad guy at each occasion just makes them look better to people they agree with. That they are cold heartless bastards. Could be... I digress.

I won't talk much about what happened next. Not my place really. Ducko had some bad news. A death. The loss of a friend. I would have like to have called him my friend too. I helped him reconnect with someone he had 'lovely chats' with once. He's gone. He's missed. I feel awful for my Ducko.

Today... I hear that the one person who a situation with made me want to check out - permenantly - has shown up again. I hope it's a one off. I hope its a fluke. I can't deal with that. I just can't. Thinking about it makes me sick. The skin becomes a shell again, but theres no hiding from whats already inside. I hate that I feel this way. I hate crying about it. I hate Ducko having to see. I'm sorry. The worst case scenario here isn't that I'd lose a lot of money - that matters less than the feeling I would actually ruin myself again. Not to mention my PC.

So, thats the week that was.... and still is. I hope it gets better from here. And hopings not something I do often. hopping... even less often. Id fall over.